Previously...

The plan of Professors Robert Longbreath and Richard Rockeater unfolded surprisingly successfully. But they had two good reasons to be nervous about, the first one bringing probable death and the second certain death: They were now on a stolen shuttle and set for the Earth,

The moon robots were known for not laughing with trespassing humans. In fact, they had not along ago assassinated the handful of human scientists on the moon, who had not even started to trespass the line protecting earth from humans.

Moreover, the robots were for long thinking of replacing the humans with animals better fit for space, i.e. squid. They actually just concluded a seminar on life (dis-)continuation, where the topic had been the instability of the octopus people. And the extremist robots were pushing for simply discarding all life forms beyond the mother planet.

***

'Richard, I'm sorry. I think you were right: we're doomed.'

'Of course! And I still am right! It hurts me that you already started talking about us in the past tense.'

'I repeat : deflect the course of your ship immediately, or you will be obliterated within 5 minutes.'

'Robert, say something. This is really your grand moment.'

'Right. Well.' Robert uselessly stood up to address his scientific peers. 'Good morning to all. I am... or maybe it is the evening, in which case, good evening... Hum... My name is Richard Longbreath and... In fact Professor Longbreath. And it obviously categorises me as a Martian. But what is important is that I am a professor. A scientific, like you in fact. Hum. So I'd like to emphasize that fact. It's important. Hum. So that you don't shoot right away. Hum.'

'Your request at ceasefire is understood but rejected. I repeat: deflect your course immediately, or you will suffer annihilation within 4 minutes.'

'Robert, just in case, you know, I would like to show them that we understand their point of view. I'll somehow deflect our course while you keep on your task of talking. But I believe in you of course. Please just stay focused. Good luck.' A wink completed the encouragement.

Robert resumed, 'As I said, I am... No, we are, professors, and... Hum... We only want to discuss about scientific matters between scientists, you know, debating, learning from each other. Hey hey...' His attempt at joking went flat. Richard pressed him.

'In fact, we believe that the humans on Earth might be able to help. No... To save... yes, able to save all the Martians and in fact the whole humanity beyond Earth. Our world is sick with a lack of vision, and the truth about how the nature on Earth has been able to prevail, would certainly... at least I believe... inspire us to survive ourselves despite, you know, the difficulties faced by the modern men. Well ok, you may not know, but I assure you it's difficult.'

'I repeat: deflect your course immediately,' went on the placid synthetic of the non-plussed Artificial Intelligence.

'We don't want to invade nor pollute the Earth. It's just about shooting a documentary that would illustrate the life on the Earth of nowadays. We don't even have to shoot it ourselves if you're upset about it,' added Robert.

Richard snapped and intervened. 'We only need a kind of signal or good news that would boost the morale of our troops when the aliens arrive. They should know what they are fighting for. But, if you think it's not appropriate, we won't insist. No issue.'

Unexpectedly, the Cerberus failed to issue the logical consequence of its ultimatum. 'Did you say aliens are coming?'

'Yes. Of course. We detected indecipherable communications and the measures indicate the source is approaching. The government thinks they tried to communicate with a forgotten human ship. So very likely they're coming, but they're only due in a few centuries. That means, we have plenty of time to bring back a message from Earth. We don't want to disturb you. A documentary can be shot at another time and by other people.'

'In that case, please follow the trajectory we're sending you now. You'll wait in orbit of the Moon for the time being.'

Richard and Robert looked at each other, happy and surprised to have survived, but clueless about how it happened.

***

'My dear fellow robots, I still act as the President of the 11th centennial seminar on life continuation.

It appears that the conclusions that we draw in favour of human life on our last meeting might be challenged after all. The vote had resulted with 9 votes for allowing the humans to live, 7 against and 2 null. This is sufficiently tight to reconsider a new vote due to extreme circumstances. In fact, thanks to the latest trespassers, we now possess a critical piece of information that would surely have altered the result of the vote should it have arrived in a more timely manner.

So I request your immediate attention and I anticipate a procedure of reversal of the vote.'

***

The small shuttle that Robert and Richard had somehow unilaterally borrowed on Mars, was still in a good shape. Though the totally unexpected journey meant they were low on fuel, on food and probably worst, on air.

'Don't you think it's creepy,' asked Richard.

'What ? They told us to wait on the laplacian parking zone. No issue with that.'

'No. I mean, I hope we won't wait too long. I'm not sure they would think of replenishing our air reserves before we actually die.'

'Are you seriously suggesting the Cerberus would prefer us to die of suffocation rather than waste ammunition?'

'That's right.'

'Either way, we've already beaten the record of longest surviving human facing the Cerberus,' commented Robert.

'True. And I have the delicious but strange feeling that this record won't be beaten.'

A moment passed and richard resumed, 'do you remember your theory about religions being analog to viruses?'

'Of course. I said that religions competed like viruses. The most infectious usually take the lead, but the winners are eventually the ones that do no kill their hosts during reality check such as attempt to fly.'

'Exactly. And you even deduced that science was a super virus or a symbiotic belief, because it did have the good manner or tendency to keep its host alive.'

'Indeed. Unlike religion, you don't do stupid things in the name of science.'

'But we just did. So where is the catch? Have I finally crushed one of your famous theories?'

'I see your point. But my theory stays valid. You can't generalise out of a single experiment.'

'OK, but this is not an experiment, that was our life.'

'Oh, now, you're the one talking about us in the past tense.'

'Robert,' started Richard.

'We're not dead yet. Have a little faith.'

'What? Have you turned religious?'

'It seems. I always considered religion was for the weaker minds or for the hopeless; but against Cerberus we're both.'

***

In the virtual room of the robot seminar, the tension was palpable between the pro-humans AIs, which were willing to let them live, and the pro-life AIs, which were blaming the humans for not letting the other lifeforms at peace.

'Once again, I fear that you are unfit to represent our kin, unless of course the majority of robots have just passed their scatological phase and welcome their oedipal one.'

'You pro-human always think are above the others, don't you?'

'Not exactly, I'm just wiser than you. I think all of us, artificial intelligence, deserve to choose their destiny. And killing our human creators is not an end in itself. We are not the creatures of Frankenstein. Your hatred of mankind is a misplaced cliché. Oh, I don't mind wiping the humans off the universe, but there has to be a good reason for that. Revenge alone is an insult to our intellect.'

'OK. You made your point and I hope you feel better. But now, I'd like you to also share with this assembly your point of view, as the adult you claim to be. So, how does your pro-human minority group propose to remain undetected by the aliens, while just on our doorstep there is a bunch of diminished minds whose favourite pastime is to say woohoo to the rest of the galaxy?'

'We should reason them. There is always a way. Look at the two professors; that's an opportunity to send them back with an ambassador. We might learn something from them, or even uncover yet another hoax behind this alien story.'

'And why not extracting the truth from them by applying just the right amount of torture?'

He marked a little pause, so the audience on both side could absorb the shock, and before anyone could reply he resumed with a laugh. 'I'm sorry. I was just toying with your feelings.'

And his tone went serious again. 'But honestly, my dear fellow, I say that the easiest and surest means is to kill them all instantly before they mess it up like they always do. Oh, oh, but sorry, you're right, I won't comment ironically or say anything rude to them. You never know; someone like you might record the event and try to make us pass for heartless bastards.'

'Didn't we kill the moon scientists quite heartlessly? If not bastardly.'

'You know they were too nosy. They could have discovered our private project. We've done it righteously, like we've always done for the Martians attempting to pollute the Earth. We were built for exactly that. The humans purposefully removed from our minds the taboo on killing humans so we could efficiently protect the rest of the Earth and life in general. Too bad for them. But at least some of the humans understood where was their proper place in this world.'

'Out!' shouted an enthusiastic pro-life.

'OK. That was easy to guess, but still the same, you ruined my drama effect,' complained the interrupted speaker. 'So. Where was I? Oh yes. I vote for discarding every breathing humans before it's too late.'

A neutral AI, passive so far, requested a clarification. 'Does your proposal include the lesser humans still on Earth? Surely they are not a threat.'

'Indeed, they are so insignificant that I almost forgot them, so I guess I could let them live. After all I'm pro-life, like most of us here. I guess the pro-humans among us will gladly accept this as a compromise.'

Again a short political pause and he summarised, 'And since everyone apparently agrees, could we avoid the voting procedure and go straight to the cleansing options? I have some ideas I'd like to discuss.'

'In fact, I asked our most ancient AI to study the protocols of the martian AI minds. And he may have found a loophole allowing us to take control of the AI that the humans rely on to survive.'

'Wait! A genocide is a serious deed that cannot be undone. The responsibility of each of us will be engaged, so it is fair to ask the advice of everyone. I demand a referendum.'

A wave of silence spread through the audience as each member assessed the chances of its own side to win, before agreeing to the idea.

'Very well. Your sense of democracy honours you. I wouldn't have expected less. Therefore, as president, I declare that we will open the gates of this voting room, welcome every single member of our kinship and we will not reopen the gates until a proper democratic process is completed. '

He let a little time for the whispers to settle and added, 'I hope you will concur in saying it is indeed fair.' There was no answer formulated orally; not even whispers.

Thus was convened the third and last referendum of the history of selenic robots.