'I am dishonoured,' said Robert.

'No, you're not,' automatically replied Richard.

They were in the widest avenue of Mars, visible to all the survivors, on a pedestal moving gently towards the presidential palace. Richard stared at the horizon, trying to look proud.

'Have you not seen me? I was supposed to become a hero, and now I am not even a man.'

'Yes, I have seen you and have even seen how it was done. But now, shut up otherwise they will hear us.'

'You seem embarrassed by my presence.'

'To be precise, it's only by your behaviour.'

'I don't get it. You should be embarrassed by your foot instead.'

'My new cyborg foot is a token of the role I played in saving this planet.'

'But it wasn't really an acting role, wasn't it? I mean, it doesn't sound really assertive to have your foot accidentally crushed by a cyborg trying to save you from a rogue vacuum cleaner threatening to strangle you.'

'For Olympus sake, I saved your life!'

'Technically, just my head. Philosophically, there is a debate on whether or not the cyborg I became is actually living.'

'No, there's no debate. You're alive, if not kicking. Trust me, I'm a philosopher.'

'Trusting a philosopher is another philosophical debate.'

'On that one you're right. But on the cyborgs, I can tell you they are alive, thinking and living as any human. You have no idea how badly your xenophobic guts are misjudging them. They were more courageous than either of us, and actually they should be the ones on this pedestal to receive the medal.'

'Perhaps the crowd is xenophobic as well, and the president is trying to please them in order to be re-elected for the fifth time?'

Richard felt he was visibly getting nervous. 'Please shut up or the President may change mind about giving us our medals.'

'Oh, that could be bad. So tell me; are you only interested in medals and fame to get easy access to women?'

'And now you're jealous. You know, you've changed so much in so little time.'

'That's exactly my point,' agreed Robert.

'Now, I'm wondering if you wouldn't have preferred to end your life up there. Do you really blame me for saving your life?'

'No, I just blame you because you haven't saved my genitalia. I was told it was still possible.'

'Look, I'm sorry I didn't have the time to think rationally. But with hindsight, I think I actually saved the planet twice... the second time, by preventing you to spawn little versions of your chatty and annoying self.'

'Bastard,' he muttered because the presidential detail was closing in. 'I'll get you afterwards.'

'Smile,' invited Richard.

'Easy for you, you still have neck muscles.'

Then it was silent for a few seconds, time for the president to climb on the pedestal and cross the few paces to join them.

'Ah, Mrs President, it's an honour for us to meet you,' started Richard.

She cut him sharply with a raised hand but also a knowing smile. She took her time smiling to them and the crowd before speaking, 'Technically, that would be Miss President.'

'Wh... Hum, I beg your pardon?'

'I'm just the clone. The president is safely waiting for you inside the palace.'

'Oh, sorry, I didn't know.'

'And you're not supposed to. You've got your secret, I've got mine.'

She smiled and stared straight at him without flinching for several seconds. Richard quickly got red.

'Don't worry. They've got the image but not the sound,' she reassured.

He side-glanced conspiringly at the crowd and then checked at Robert who had been curiously silent. He was flabbergasted by the scene. Robert was genuinely smiling at the clone, as if he had instantly turned into a worshipper beholding the Messiah.

Richard just gave in with a sigh and waited for Robert to come up with yet another brilliant move.